You know, Rammstein feels good tojust listen in your soul...Just feel it deep inside where all the ugly is and just bring it out into the light of day. I've been downloading like crazy all kinds of music and all kinds of sounds becuase yeah, I really like music and I feel like I haven't been connecting with it as much as I used to, but more importantly, and maybe a little selfish, music is the fire of the soul and the life of the heart, and whatever you listen to is what expresses who you are the most to the outside world. It tells other people what you're about, or at the very most, what your feelings are when you listen to it. Where it can take you when you want to escape the world for a while. I've been downloading bands that I know my boyfriend likes, but not just because I want other tracks to listen to, but to also reconnect and to understand what makes him...well...him. I have to take myself outside of my realms and put myself in his, see where his head is at and understand him, BE with him as his girlfriend, you know? I know what I like, I know what I like to listen to, but what about him?
That's not to say that Rammstein is someone he likes to listen to. I browsed his tracks on his computer (close to four thousand, and I only have a measley one thousand, how out of the loop am I?) and he only has one Rammstein song. Yep, you guessed it : ' Du Hast '. It makes the little German in me cry, but whatever. Rammstein ain't the only German, but the group is damn good and I don't care what any of you say. But, in finding his music, I have to find my own sound and figure out how not to make myself feel depressed because he and I don't have the same type of music that we listen to all the time. We listen to the same genres, just not the same bands. Well, not all of them. I like Rammstein and Shinedown and Stone Sour and other such peoples. He likes Marylin Manson and Korn and Killswitch Engage. I like Avenged Sevenfold. He likes Lacuna Coil. So, I shouldn't feel bad if we don't listen to the same things. But I want to know why he likes them, and the best way to learn is to listen to these people myself. And I'll admit, Marylin Manson freaked me out in the beginning with all the media hype of what a terribly bad person he is and how is music is satanic. Honestly, after listening to the man: not so bad. I can't see what all the fuss is about and his song 'If I was your Vampire' is awesome to my ears.
So, I'm taking myself out of my realms of comfort: books and literary works, research and the pen and quill and trying to put myself in his universe of games and first person shooters like Halo 3 and Grand Theft Auto. I play, but not often. I'm putting myself in his worlds of new OS's and Ipods and other such odds and ends that make me frown and go 'Huh. What's the point of that?'
Wish me luck.